I come from a big family with many opinions, voices and perspectives, so I grew up being afraid to trust myself because there were so many people who felt or thought differently from me that I really looked up to. As an independent adult, I have learned how to filter what I let shape my vision, how I dress, the things I like and most importantly, how I think. If I find that the sifting process is too troublesome, I just completely separate myself from those who make it difficult to be and love myself. Whether or not I acknowledge it, the human part of me is craving to belong, to be accepted and to be loved. And while I give myself these gifts, it is important to remember that others will also give me these gifts or rob me of them.
I am very picky with who I share my space with because I pay attention to my body, my energy and my emotions when I am around others. Is this interaction easy and natural? Do I feel my spirit dampen or elevate? How comfortable am I discussing my feelings, ideas or things I enjoy? ...And I still don’t always get it right. Our energy force-fields are far more sensitive and telling than we are as we go through our daily motions. We cross paths with multitudes of different people so encounters become mundane, ritualistic or insignificant for the most part. We occasionally fall out of tune with the depth of reality. The vibrations we feel around others are the wake up calls - the better we get to know ourselves is the more clarity we have in understanding what these signals mean. Learning discernment is an invaluable skill that gives you peace of mind for the choices you make, including those you choose to trust to guide you. For me, it is critical to be particular about my tribe, because I have learned that the people you love and the people who you give the power to hurt you will inevitably change you.
We are malleable and impressionable creatures. That's why marketing is so effective - it quietly directs us to spend our money in a way that is favorable to the marketer. Similarly, we rely on those around us to validate or reassure us that we are doing our best, or make us feel better when we're not. I feel badly when someone I love rejects something I put effort into, even if it wasn't personal. And from there, I make the decision to continue to put in that effort or indefinitely halt that effort. That is potentially a life changing decision that I gave someone else the power to make for me. While I am equipped at all times to recognize that it is my choice, I am also a human being who trusts the people I love and keep them around for that reason. And while things may not always be at the severity of tipping the life scale, the people around you lead you in smaller ways too that make a big difference over time. Whether or not you are affectionate, docile, fearful, ambitious, invested or defensive are all based on the influence of your environment and others. Of course there are other factors too, but in the most dramatic or the very slightest of ways do others sprinkle their seeds of impact. Being mindful about who you want to be will allow you to be mindful of who you surround yourself with. Not everyone can come, and not everyone should come.
Love always.
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